Check out this trade that would never happen

I have heard some interesting trades thru fans, Internet, newspaper columns, etc but none of these equal the lack of intelligence of this trade. This is from MLBtraderumors but they got the info from Joel Sherman's column-

Backwards Center Field Trade Bait

Most of Joel Sherman's column today is filled with the Mark Teixeira stuff you've been reading about everywhere else. (I, for one, am now absolutely sure of how to spell Tex's name. A couple of weeks ago? Not so much.)

But, there are two tidbits buried in the column that are interesting both on their own and juxtaposed.

First, Sherman corroborates Buster Olney's claim that the Yankees are hot after Dan Johnson. But he gives us more: Billy Beane asked for Brett Gardner and was rejected. Uh, Brett Gardner? Useful player, perhaps, but the Yanks are interested in Johnson because he's a useful player too, and one who is a lot more likely to help them this year (and next, too, in all likelihood). Sherman interprets that as New York's new protectiveness of their prospects. Too bad there isn't another ~$15M rental like Bobby Abreu out there this year ... unless you count Richie Sexson, whom I don't.

Second, he repeats the common Gerald Laird-to-the-Cubs refrain, but adds a twist:
The Cubs have interest in Laird and Rangers relievers, and might include center field prospect Felix Pie to get that.

I suppose Laird + Eric Gagne might merit Pie. Maybe. It would certainly make the Cubs more credible contenders immediately, but...Felix Pie?

What an odd world it is, when Brett Gardner is off the block, and Felix Pie is on.

Are you kidding me??? Pie for a reliever that has arm problems and a catcher who has a lifetime .257 average and has good defense?? I wouldn't give up more than Eyre and Cedeno for Laird and I would prefer having Kendall than him at this moment or for Blanco for that matter. Blanco has better defense and better bat than Laird. Now for Gagne is a different story. I would love to have him but not for Pie, maybe for a couple of other minor leaguers like Coats and Murton but not Pie. In fact there is very few players I would trade Pie for and even few catchers. So no to trading Pie unless you come with names like Salty or Crawford. So Joel stick to writing about east coast baseball, something you have knowledge about, instead of throwing out ridiculous trades that invlove Pie( our #1 prospect) and two players that dont equal his value at all.